Are You Ready For Some Football?

UUUGGGHHH

2009-10-11T12:07:00.002-04:00

No time for small talk this week. Brother came up for the weekend from North Carolina. Went to Third Eye Blind concert last night. Stacks of work piling up. No motivation to stay awake, let alone do work. Kill me now.

Minnesota (-10.5) over St. Louis
Dallas (-7) over Kansas City
Carolina (-4.5) over Washington
Philadelphia (-15.5) over Tampa Bay
NY Giants (-15.5) over Oakland
Buffalo (-6) over Cleveland
Cincinnati (+9) over Baltimore
Pittsburgh (-11) over Detroit
Atlanta (+1.5) over San Francisco
New England (-3) over Denver
Arizona (-5.5) over Houston
Jacksonville (+1.5) over Seattle
Indianapolis (-4) over Tennessee
NY Jets (-2.5) over Miami

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 26-20

Golf Reform

2009-10-04T14:13:00.003-04:00

Look I know. I’m blowing it again. But I refuse to have a repeat of last year. No more missed weeks. And don’t expect me to take the losses for games I don’t pick like I did last year. Those were outstanding circumstances. This was just one week, so let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, bury the hatchet and move on. I can’t afford to take 16 losses. And forget about the season predictions. That ship set sail long ago, and it’s not like I’m an expert or anything or trying to be (but then what is the point of this blog?) I digress.

Before I get started, did everyone see Tim Wakefield win a million bucks by drilling that hole-in-one a couple of weeks ago? That was awesome. Great shot, and an even better celebration. I wish the pros did it like that. Golf would be a lot more interesting. There just so good though that there’s no chance they would react like that unless it was to win the U.S. Open or something. Because after watching Vijah Singh get that hole-in-one at the Masters par-3 tourney, I’m convinced golfers can do anything. (P.S. I find incredibly hard to believe that the guy is not Tim Wakefield. Just look at him. Are you serious?)

Actually this is a great segue; I have so many ideas floating around in my head on how to make golf a more exciting sport. For starters, trash talk must be allowed. Maybe not in the middle of someone’s backswing, but absolutely in between shots. It adds a whole different psychological dimension. Sure, golfers go through enough with the mental battle in their own head, but I’d like to see them handle getting rattled by other golfers smack talk. Another implement that needs to be added to the golfing world: a shot clock. This will be called dubbed the Sergio Garcia rule. I literally can’t watch that guy golf. Every time he flashes on the screen I change the channel, unless it’s one of those quick switches where the cameras get him right before he shoots. My final rule that I’ll hit you with for now (because I have many innovative ideas to reinvent the sport of golf which you will hear about at some point or another) is more of a philosophy and atmosphere than it is a rule. Ever since I saw Happy Gilmore, I have always envisioned that football-ish, Nascar-esque crowd at golf tournaments. Tailgating, alcohol vendors, air horns, the whole nine yards. Just think about it. Let these things stew around in your brain for a while, you’ll see it my way.

What am I supposed to be talking about again? O yeah, football. It is still a sore spot two weeks later, but this is one thing that I will say about the Jets-Pats catastrophe: Jets fans need to relax. Seriously. This was an actual Facebook status from one of my friends: “apparently the Jets just one the Super Bowl. Congratulations. Now the Patriots can focus on winning the ACTUAL Super Bowl.” I mean you guys gotta calm down. You played a good game and you finally beat us for like the first time in a decade or whatever. It’s been three weeks, and you have the makings of a good team, but it’s a long season, and you got a rookie QB. Also, your coach looks very susceptible to a heart attack at any moment. For now, just keep it in your pants and see what happens the rest of the season.

(That all being said, I’m kind of scared. I think the Pats will right the ship and be fine, but the Jets have looked too good. I really hope the Saints bring us all back to earth).

A quick random thought: I would like to go on record as saying that I would not go to a Browns/Rams game if someone paid me. My friends and I were having this discussion, and we decided that hands down it would be the worst NFL game in the history of the league. There is not one attractive feature that could possibly allure someone to that game, unless of course they went out of sheer curiosity to see how bad the worst the NFL has to offer really is. Actually the comedy factor of that game would be off the charts with just awful play and awful play. We’d be looking at possibly the first 0-0 tie ever. And not because of great defense, but because of a complete absence of anything even slightly resembling offense. You know what I just convinced myself. I take it back I would go.

Houston (-8.5) over Oakland- someone has to win

Tennessee (-3) over Jacksonville

New England (-2) over Baltimore- keeping the faith

Cincinnati (-6.5) over Cleveland- because their Cleveland

NY Giants (-8.5) over Kansas City

Detroit (+10) over Chicago- The Lions have had a knack for streaks lately, and they did win last week…

(Another P.S.- I totally picked the Lions to win last week. I could see that coming and I nailed it on the head, and I'm so pissed at myself for being lazy and not posting. Karma.)

Tampa Bay (+9) over Washington- a small step above Browns v. Rams

Indianapolis (-10) over Seattle

New Orleans (-7.5) over NY Jets- Jets get a reality check

Miami (-1) over Buffalo

San Francisco (-9) over St. Louis- for obvious reasons

Denver (+3) over Dallas

San Diego (+6) over Pittsburgh

Green Bay (+3.5) over Minnesota- Just read this blurb from Bill Simmons latest column:

“In one of those Nostradamus specials, I'm almost positive that he predicted floods, fires and pestilence if Brett Favre ever played against the Packers in a sanctioned NFL game. This is really a sporting event unlike any other. I can't stop thinking about Packers fans; if Larry Bird had ever played against the Celtics, I would have wandered the streets of Boston for weeks and probably ended up trying heroin. Hard to believe we're here.”

Last week (2 weeks ago): 8-8
Season: 17-15

2009-09-20T13:13:00.002-04:00

Kansas City (-2.5) over Oakland
Tennessee (-7) over Houston
New England (-3.5) over NY Jets
Green Bay (-8) over Cincinnati
Minnesota (-10) over Detroit
New Orleans (-3) over Philadelphia
Atlanta (-6) over Carolina
St. Louis (+9.5) over Washington
Jacksonville (-3) over Arizona
Seattle (+1) over San Francisco
Tampa Bay (+4) over Buffalo
Denver (-3) over Cleveland
Baltimore (+1) over San Diego
Pittsburgh (-3) over Chicago
NY Giants (+3) over Dallas
Indianapolis (-3) over Miami

Last Week: 9-7

And So it Begins...

2009-09-10T20:53:00.002-04:00

One of the basic rules of physics goes as follows:

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I find no better example in life than what is going on right now. My senior year of college is underway, and I am feeling all the pressures of the real world on my shoulders as I plan to graduate in nine months. Gotta tell you, I thought that when I saw Angelica Houston reveal herself as a witch in “The Witches” when I was four years old that I would never be more scared in my life, but this is pretty damn close.

But, like in physics, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and that is the return of the NFL. Aside from March Madness, the NFL is the greatest sports event, and it happens every single week. It provides that breath of fresh air, where school and work go out the window and all that matters is the fantasy production of the players on your team and those on the team of your unlucky opponent (at least in my case; my teams are going to friggen clean up, but that is a topic to be discussed later).

And once again this time is upon us. The great thing about the beginning of the season is that every team starts with a clean slate. After my collapse last season (if you want to see my record look in the past blogs, but you could not pay me enough to counter the embarrassment I would receive posting it to remind you). That All-Disappointment Team I promised and never delivered on? Just chalk me up as the starter, coach, and MVP of that team. Just and all-around meltdown. But that was last season and this is this season. If the Detroit Lions get to start off back at .500, then so do I. 0-0-0 baby.

Let me share with you some things I learned in the offseason:

1. Michael Crabtree is an idiot
2. I inexplicably may miss John Madden
3. Brett Favre will never retire; he will just die of old age
4. I hate Jay Cutler
5. The video of Brandon Marshall swatting away passes is hilarious
6. Ochocinco was born to be a reality TV star; T.O. was not

I think anyone can deduce where I got these from, it’s pretty self-explanatory. I need to get these picks in before Tennessee and Pittsburgh kick off, but you can expect some predictions (for both the season and for fantasy) to come shortly. And of course, a tribute to my main man Tedy Bruschi. Don’t think for a second that I overlooked that.

Making selections for Week 1 of the NFL regular season reminds me of that new show on ABC where people date in the dark. You really don’t know what you’re dealing with; everything is just based on gut instinct. Let’s roll the dice:

Pittsburgh (-6.5) over Tennessee
Atlanta (-4) over Miami
Kansas City (+13) over Baltimore
Philadelphia (-2.5) over Carolina
Denver (+4) over Cincinnati
Minnesota (-4) over Cleveland
Houston (-4.5) over NY Jets
Indianapolis (-7) over Jacksonville
New Orleans (-13) over Detroit
Tampa Bay (+6) over Dallas
San Francisco (+6.5) over Arizona
Washington (+6.5) over NY Giants
Seattle (-8.5) over St. Louis
Green Bay (-3.5) over Chicago
New England (-11) over Buffalo
San Diego (-9.5) over Oakland

Things Are Getting Pretty Serious

2009-01-10T16:27:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note: I’m writing this post as I watch the national championship game between Oklahoma and Florida (trust me I’m struggling through it, but the Office is a repeat and there is nothing else worth watching on). You know, college football already has enough working against it as it is. Every year, the question of is the BCS champion the real national champion? is always pondered, and lots of years a “split” national championship is settled upon. That’s absolute crap, and that is why college football sucks. I feel like this is what would happen if Donovan McNabb was in charge of college football, but alas he is not, and it still happens. Whatever, I’m past it. PIIIICKS

The first game of the divisional round is going to be an absolute slugfest. They’ll be more hitting and fighting than actual football playing when Baltimore takes on Tennessee, but then again, isn’t that what football is really all about? I expect a similar game to their matchup from the regular season which the Titans won 13-10.
It makes me nervous to take Kerry Collins against the Ravens in the playoffs (see Super Bowl XXXV), but I think I’d be more nervous taking the rookie Joe Flacco against the Titans defense. Both teams are awesome on defense, both teams can pound the running game, but I say the gray beard (Collins) wins a squeaker at home with the crowd behind him. The X-Factor however, is Ed Reed. He’s the man. I really just can’t use words to describe how incredible he is, but I’ll just leave it at that. Also, when I see him have returns like this one last week, I wonder why they don’t use him on special teams more, or on offense. Regardless, he’s the reason why I’m taking Baltimore (+3) to cover.

On the flipside, I don’t see a repeat game of the Cardinals-Panthers regular season game happening tonight. Carolina was 8-0 at home this year, and Arizona was 3-5 on the road. Carolina will shove the ball down the Cardinals throat with Williams and Stewart, who will probably have about a buck-fifty each, and when the Cardinals put eight men in the box? Well then Steve Smith will be there to burn them. I think the Panthers win big, so I’m going with Carolina (-10). Don’t underestimate the combo of Smith-Muhammed in the playoffs. It’s deadly.

I still think that the Giants are the team to beat in the NFC, and the entire league as well, and I don’t trust Philly; not one bit. I think Philly could go 16-0 and tear up the league, but if Andy Reid was still their coach and McNabb was still their QB I would continue to bet against them. Because the Giants lost three of their last four (even though none of them mattered except the game they won against Carolina) and the Eagles beat the Giants at the Meadowlands a few weeks ago, I’ll pick Philadelphia (+4) to cover. But I still have a feeling the G-men will pull it out.

I’m not buying the whole “San Diego is hot” thing (even though they are). The Chargers always play the Steelers tough, Big Ben is banged up, and…Mike Scifres is perhaps the greatest punter ever. I am confident in saying he will be the very first kicker elected into the Hall of Fame. I would bet a moderate amount of money on it (maybe like $20). He will give the Chargers a huge edge in the field position battle. But if I know one thing it’s that you don’t bet against the league’s #1 defense at home in the playoffs…straight up at least. I’ll take San Diego (+6) to cover. I missed the cover on this game in the regular season when Pitt won 11-10 and Polamalu’s return for TD as time expired didn’t count when it should have. This game will be pretty similar, and I will have my redemption.

So I’m taking three underdogs with the spread, but not to win straight up. That is some very risky business, but hey, all that matters is the spread anyways. If one of them wins outright, I still win. Beautiful.

Oh, yeah, and that all-disappointment team is still in the workings and on its way soon. I’m really building the suspense with that one. You people can’t even sit still waiting for it. I can feel it.

Wild Card Weekend

2009-01-03T17:36:00.000-05:00

Okay so just disregard the regular season. As any respectable coach would tell you, playoffs are a new season. Everyone is 0-0, and if you lose, you’re going home. I’d like to take that same approach here. After a regular season which I would like to forget, I’m going to use the playoffs as my rebound. Granted I did so poorly because I missed several weeks, but I’m not one for excuses. I was going to refuse to make playoff picks as a “f--- you” to the league for their extremely questionable rules regarding which teams make the postseason. I mean I am livid. The Patriots win their last four games and finish 11-5, and miss out. Yet, the Chargers, who won their last four games to finish just 8-8, not only get in but get to host a wild card game. Not to mention that none of their four victories were over playoff teams, and included was a one point victory over 2-14 Kansas City. But you know what, I’m passed all that for two reasons: 1) I love the NFL, and 2) I am a strong believer in karma. The Pats will get theirs when the perfect storm that I discussed a few posts ago is unleashed.

Cardinals (+2.5) over Falcons

Both the NFC games are completely tearing my insides apart. I don’t know who to pick in either matchup. The Cardinals have looked awful lately. I went to the game they played at New England, and it was a complete joke. It was obvious from the opening kickoff they were missing the cozy desert heat, and wanted no part of that Foxboro winter storm. Also, Michael Turner was second in the league with 1,700 rush yards, and the Cardinals rush defense could be gouged by Rashaan Salaam (so pumped I got that reference in there). But still, who’s to say the Cardinals are going to continue the trend they ended the season on? They really had nothing to play for as they had the division wrapped up, so can you blame them for wanting to get the hell out of Massachusetts? (It was absolutely freezing). The Falcons are just 4-4 away from home, and their less-than-stellar pass defense will have trouble stopping the Boldin-Fitzgerald aerial assault. It’s going to be close and high scoring, but I’ll take the home team and the points.

Indianapolis (-3) over San Diego

Yeah…I’m definitely not as worried about the AFC matchups. Indy has won nine in a row, they have the hilarious Peyton Manning (who I guess is pretty good too as he was named MVP), and they are clicking on all cylinders. San Diego has won four straight, but none against playoff teams. And I don’t want to hear this crap about “well they have a lot of talent and they seem to be gelling at the right time.” There is a reason this team started the season 4-8, and LT is still nicked up. To boot, the Chargers are still coached by Norv Turner. Home field advantage will not be enough, and Indy will win by more than just the last second field goal they prevailed by against the Chargers during the regular season. I fully expect this game to reflect the Chargers season- they’ll make stupid mistakes and underachieve to dig themselves into a hole they can’t get out of. Or maybe they’ll self destruct in the fourth quarter. I don’t know. Don’t worry, they’ll lose one way or another.

Baltimore (-2) over Miami

No reason to think that Baltimore won’t see the same result they did when they throttled Miami 27-13 in week 7. Before they lost to Pittsburgh for the second time, I was going to say that the Ravens season was beginning to look eerily similar to their season the year they won the Super Bowl when they quietly won their last seven games with dominating defense to finish 12-4 (minus Trent Dilfer…er, wait, isn’t that a plus?) Still, the Ravens won 5 of their last six and had some impressive performances. Congratulations to Miami on the best turnaround in the history of the NFL (1-15 to 11-5 division champs), but they’ve done that by being efficient, and they really got the most out of their team. Kudos to Pennington, but the Dolphins benefitted from a weak schedule. Also, two point victories over Seattle and Oakland, a four point win over St. Louis, and a five point win over San Francisco make the Dolphins record better than I believe they actually are, in a year where they lost to non-playoff teams in Houston and the NY Jets.

Minnesota (+3) over Philadelphia

I can’t believe I’m actually picking a Tarvaris-Jackson-led team to win a playoff game, but my hands are tied—just look at what the alternative is. I mean there are so many reasons not to pick the Vikings, for instance the fact that Tarvaris Jackson is the quarterback which I just mentioned. Anyone who saw the end of last week’s game against the Giants would cringe at picking a team coached by the clock management wiz Brad Childress. All that being said, I have faith in the Vikings defense and the league’s leading rusher Adrian Peterson, especially at home where they’ve beaten the Panthers, Giants, and Bears. I also have more faith in a team that’s gone 5-1 in their last six games versus Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb. I don’t care what else the Eagles have done; if you watched what they did in consecutive weeks against Baltimore and Cincy you wouldn’t trust them to beat Virginia Tech. I hope it goes into double overtime and McNabb walks off the field thinking the game ended in a tie.

I know the All-Disappointment team has been a disappointment in itself so far, but don’t fret people it’s on its way.

The Suffering Ends

2008-12-28T09:48:00.000-05:00

Oakland (+13) over Tampa Bay

Detroit (+11) over Green Bay- Dare I say that the Lions will win and avoid finishing 0-16?

Dallas (+1.5) over Philadelphia- As much as I don’t want to see the Cowboys in the playoffs, I have a feeling that somehow fate will put them there

Minnesota (-7) over NY Giants- G-men will be resting everyone up while the Vikings need to win to get in

Chicago (+3) over Houston

Carolina (-2) over New Orleans- The pattern finally ends as a visiting team wins an NFC South game

Atlanta (-14) over St. Louis

Kansas City (+2.5) over Cincinnati

Baltimore (-11) over Jacksonville

Indianapolis (+3) over Tennessee- Neither team is going to put out there starters, who knows what’s going to happen

Pittsburgh (-11) over Cleveland- I would take any team in the league -11 over the Browns right now

NY Jets (-3) over Miami- Come on Jets! They have to do it, right? The Dolphins can't win the division after going 1-15. I have to pick them

New England (-5.5) over Buffalo- The Pats will be paying more attention to the Jets score than they will to this game

Seattle (+7) over Arizona- The Cardinals haven’t had anything to play for in like 8 weeks. Holmgren gets the victory in his finale, or at least keeps it close

San Francisco (-3) over Washington

San Diego (-8) over Denver- the Chargers will rout the Broncos becoming the first 4-8 team to make the playoffs. Shanahan will be fired after this collapse, and the whole region of New England will have a battle royale with San Diego because if they get in and the Pats don’t, heads are going to roll!

Last Week: like I said, doesn’t matter
Season: I’m just focusing on next year

Never Give Up!

2008-12-21T01:33:00.001-05:00

Well, here is the long and the short of it. I’m not going to beat around the bush anymore. It’s all over for me. Last week, I went 6-9, leaving my season record at an abysmal 64-99-2. Now the question is where do I go from here? Do I give up, pack it in and call it quits? Or do I suck it up and stick it out like a man? Hell, I have an audience to please, and I sure as hell am not going to disappoint them! I’m sure some of you take enjoyment out of my struggles. Either way, you the reader deserve a post to read, and by God that’s just what I am going to give you. Oh… yeah…you’re going to have to wait for tomorrow night for that because I’ve been too distracted by college basketball all day. Wait, and maybe the fact that I’m going to the Pats game tomorrow baby! Who’s going to be on the field for pre-game warm ups? THIS GUY! Tomorrow you will be able to feast upon my 2008 Underachievers/Disappointments team. In the meanwhile, wrap your minds around these picks:

Pittsburgh (-2) over Tennessee
Kansas City (+3.5) over Miami
New England (-8) over Arizona
Cincinnati (+3) over Cleveland
Philadelphia (-4.5) over Washington
San Francisco (-5) over St. Louis
Minnesota (-3.5) over Atlanta
New Orleans (-7) over Detroit
Carolina (+3.5) over NY Giants
Seattle (+3.5) over NY Jets
Houston (-7) over Oakland
Denver (-6.5) over Buffalo
Tampa Bay (-3.5) over San Diego

Last Week: doesn’t matter
Season: who cares anymore

The Tyrannic Rule of the BCS is OVER!

2008-12-14T14:41:00.000-05:00

This is depressing. I’ve realized that pretty much all hope is lost of me accomplishing my goal of reaching the .500 mark for the season. Now I need a miracle that would rival the one that occurred on ice roughly 28 years ago. Last week I had my hands tied with it being finals week and everything. I know I said that I don’t do work and school is not an issue and all that junk, but even I had my hands tied last week. I’m proud to say that I survived finals week, but I paid the price. If you want to know how, look at my record at the bottom of this post. Last week I only had time to pick the 4 pm. games and later, and it was not pretty. Actually, based on that it’s probably better that I didn’t have a chance to predict the one o’ clock games. I think I may have unintentionally cut my losses.

(Also, I’d like to apologize for this week being a little late, but I got home Friday evening and didn’t have power back until midnight last night. My laptop battery lasts roughly 5-10 seconds, making it a little tough on me to make this post before now. But seriously, I’m just glad I survived. I felt like Bear Grylls in the episode where he takes on the Siberian forest terrain. It was awful.)

Today is a great day. I don’t mean today as in this very day, but like the present. Why? One reason: Cincinnati v. Virginia Tech in the FedEx Orange Bowl. Half of you are scratching your heads right now and half of you probably want to fight me, but before you make up your mind and stop reading, let me explain. While outwardly this game is the worst game in the history of BCS bowls, it is also the best. This will be the worst game that has ever aired on national television; a complete waste of the network airwaves. The only people who will be watching this game are Bearcat or Hokie alums, or perhaps a relative of one of the players (a close relative, because I know if I was on one of these teams my dad most likely wouldn’t bother wasting 3 hours of his time). What I can hope for in this game is an incredibly boring performance that displays just how bad each of these teams are. I’m talking about a 13-3, 14-3, or 17-7 final or something like that; you don’t want it within one possession because that could cause some excitement. I guess that being said, 9-0 would be the optimal final. Oh, and some turnovers, not too many, but a moderate amount. And no one has even semi-impressive stats. The BCS tried to save themselves by putting these two teams in the same bowl and not wasting 2 games and 6 hours worth of national television, but essentially they have created the perfect storm. Hopefully, I pray, this storm capsizes the BCS and leads to its eventual demise. Who airs this game? ABC? They must be kicking themselves in the ass for signing that contract.

I don’t want to waste too much of my time or your time talking about the NHL, but can someone help me understand Sean Avery’s suspension? Like, seriously, huh? Am I the only one completely perplexed by this? He didn’t do anything! When Sage Steele warned viewers that what they were about to hear may be offensive and disturbing, I was prepared for something extravagant. I was ready for something really juicy that would blow me away and have me on the ground laughing, or with my jaw dropped in shock. Granted, I chuckled a bit when Avery said “sloppy seconds,” but afterwards I was still waiting there in front of the TV, thinking there was more to come. I was more offended by Sage Steele telling me I might be offended than I actually was by Avery’s comments. In a league that not only allows fights but encourages them, saying “sloppy seconds” gets you a 6-game suspension? I’m really not sure what kind of image the NHL is going for, but this contradictory behavior is turning me further off from hockey. If anything Avery should be rewarded for bringing attention to the NHL. Maybe give him a penalty shot to start off a game or something. If that were the case and that’s the way the league operated, I know I’d start watching.

One last thing I would like to point out, and it is a sweet point for me indeed. I cannot help but notice that the stars are aligning for the return of the Patriots dynasty. Both Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weiss are on creepily similar paths toward being fired by the end of next season. Brady will be back for next season, but one has to assume that it may take a season of adjustment to get back to his MVP form, which is fine because it will take another season for the Pats to solidify up those holes on defense and bring in some younger talent. That way, the Pats will be in prime form by the time Weiss and Crennel are fired, and they will be free to return to their natural places at Belicheck’s side, as offensive and defensive coordinators respectfully. Ah, yes, it is all clear to me now. The New England Patriots, 2010-11 Super Bowl Champions!

Picks:

Green Bay (-3) over Jacksonville
Indianapolis (-17) over Detroit
Washington (-7) over Cincinnati
Atlanta (-5) over Tampa Bay
San Francisco (+5.5) over Miami
Seattle (-2) over St. Louis
Buffalo (+7.5) over NY Jets
Tennessee (-3) over Houston
Baltimore (-3) over Pittsburgh
Carolina (-8) over Denver
Minnesota (+3.5) over Arizona
San Diego (-5.5) over Kansas City
New England (-7) over Oakland
NY Giants (+3) over Dallas
Cleveland (+14) over Philadelphia

Last Week: 2-6
Season: 58-90-2

2008-12-07T16:22:00.000-05:00

NY Jets (-4) over San Francisco

Miami (+1) over Buffalo

Denver (-9) over Kansas City

St. Louis (+14) over Arizona

Dallas (+3.5) over Pittsburgh

New England (-7) over Seattle

Baltimore (-6) over Washington

Tampa Bay (+3) over Carolina

Last Week: 7-6
Season: 56-84-2

To Be Continued...

2008-11-30T15:19:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately I don’t have time to write anything interesting this week. I really do have things to do with my life. I just spent almost three hours driving back to school so all I had time to do when I got back is write a little something for each game. I did make my picks yesterday, but I know people aren’t very trustful of others and I would lose all credibility if took the time to give my thoughts on the Thanksgiving games and made this post after the first set of games. I will get my two cents in this week though. You can bet the Lions are going to get some heat from me as well as McNabb. Yeah, that’s right, McNabb. I don’t care about how you did on Thursday, I’m not done with you yet. You’ve actually added fuel to my fire.

NY Jets (-8) over Denver

Let me be clear that this pick is NOT me jumping on the Jets bandwagon, but more of me jumping on the Broncos dilapidated rickshaw that is a sorry excuse for a bandwagon. They rival the Eagles for the most inconsistent, hardest-to-read team. They’ve beaten New Orleans, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, and San Diego, yet have lost to Kansas City, Oakland, and Jacksonville. I’m not completely sold on the Jets yet, but after their performances in the last two weeks this seems like an easy pick.

Buffalo (-6.5) over San Francisco

I’m going with tradition on this one, in that it is very hard for opponents to win in Buffalo in December (it basically is). And that goes especially for a 3-8 west coast team, despite the Bills recent struggles. Their offense explosion last week gives me hope they can pull this one out by at least a touchdown.

New Orleans (+4) over Tampa Bay

The Saints pretty much have to win this game to keep their playoff hopes alive, and Drew Brees is a big time performer. He was my runner-up for MVP last week, and he certainly could win that award this year, but not if the Saints don’t make the postseason. They beat Tampa in their first matchup, and I’m going to bet that the Bucs defenders take at least a half to adjust to Brees after facing a Culpepper-lead Lions offense last week.

Green Bay (-3) over Carolina

This pick is very similar to the Buffalo one, in that opponents don’t go into Green Bay in December (it basically is) and come away with a victory. It’s also a play of percentages- Carolina: 6-0 at home, 2-3 on the road. Green Bay is a better team than 5-7, where a loss would put them.

NY Giants (-3.5) over Washington

The G-men are unfortunately the best team in football, and Washington has faded from the early season glory they showed. Granted that has been in part to Portis being banged up, but I don’t foresee a divisional grudge match here. Giants will win easily.

St. Louis (+7) over Miami

Steven Jackson is finally back for that Rams. Don’t get me wrong, St. Louis was never a good team, but they were competitive with Jackson. When he was completely healthy they beat Washington and Dallas, and gave the Pats a good game. Jackson is like an iron supplement for the Rams anemic offense. Combine that with the fact that Miami has screwed me the last couple times I picked them to cover (Oakland, Seattle) and I’ll take the Rams at home.

Baltimore (-7) over Cincinnati

Everyone saw what the Raven’s defense did to McNabb and the Eagles last week. This game won’t be much different. What are the odds of Ed Reed scoring more points than the entire Bengals team?

Indianapolis (-4.5) over Cleveland

I would hate to be a Browns fan. They don’t even know how to use the little talent they have. Brady Quinn is out for the season; Indy is rounding into postseason shape; all signs point to a Colts W.

Atlanta (+6) over San Diego

I think this is a fairly generous spread for the Falcons. I would like to highlight the subplot of Michael Turner returning to his old stomping grounds, where he served as a backup to LT for 4 seasons, watching him shatter the record books. Now that Turner has his time in the spotlight, he leads the league in touchdowns and is third in rushing yards. I’m a big believer in players shining in situations like this, and although there’s no hard feeling towards San Diego, I’m sure he wants badly to run all over them.

New England (-2) over Pittsburgh

As a Pats fan, this is it. This is the game. This game will answer the following questions: Is Matt Cassell for real? Are we going to contend for a title this year? Should we get excited for the remainder of the season, or just go back into sleep mode like we did when Brady got hurt? This is also a big game in terms of making the playoffs. The Jets have an easy schedule, and we need to keep up with Indy and Baltimore for the wild card spots.

Oakland (-3) over Kansas City

Umm, don’t really care about this game. It could be interesting, and I’ll be interested for fantasy purposes (Tony Gonzalez). Both teams scored 31 points last week, but KC let up 54 to a previously heartless Buffalo offense and Oakland held Denver to 10.

Minnesota (-3.5) over Chicago

The Vikings really are good. They are. Everyone hates on them because their starting quarterback is Gus Frerotte, which is understandable. But seriously, try and look past the fact that he is their QB. If you can ignore that, you will see they are a good team. I like them to win the North.

Houston (-3) over Jacksonville

Another game that no one should really care about. I like Houston because they are at home and I want to believe that Andre Johnson is going to have a huge fantasy performance for me; I’m going to need it. At least Houston limits their problems to on the football field. They have that working in their favor.

Last week: 10-4-1
Turkey: 2-1
Season: 49-78-2

Turkey Day Special

2008-11-27T13:14:00.000-05:00

Got to get to these picks early this week with the three Thanksgiving day games. Damn this job is demanding. I would much rather be doing something else, but the only thing on TV right now is the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade which makes me want to blow my brains out. It’s like slowly getting your teeth pulled out; absolutely brutal. Matt Lauer’s voice will haunt my dreams for a few weeks now. So this is actually a nice alternative. Hold on let me just mute the TV.

It is not a pleasant time to be living in Detroit. Those poor Lions fans may have to suffer through a winless season this year, on top of all the economic troubles going on up there with GM and the automotive industry. You gotta feel for all those people. What a golden opportunity they blew last Sunday against the Bucs. I must say though, if I was a Lions fan I would have been a little suspicious; I would’ve known it was too good to be true. First they drive down the field on their second possession of the game for a touchdown. On the following Tampa possession, they return a Garcia fumble to the endzone to go up two scores. Next offensive possession, they get a field goal. The Lions went up 17-0 before the Bucs managed to get their second first down, and they lead by that score at the end of the first quarter. Then, they remembered just who they were. Tampa drove the field and scored. Detroit went three-and-out. Tampa drove down the field and scored again. Culpepper threw an interception. Tampa scores and takes the lead just like that. From down 17-0 to up 21-17 in 12 minutes. Methinks maybe the Bucs were just trying to make things interesting? Make the people in Vegas sweat a little? Tease the Lions fans and give a little scare to their own?

The rest of the Lions schedule is as follows: Tennessee, Minnesota, at Indianapolis, New Orleans, at Green Bay. All signs are pointing to an 0-16 finish. If there’s one game they are going to win, maybe it is today, at home, in their traditional Thanksgiving Day game. Maybe they can rally themselves and take pride in defending the name of the Detroit Lions organization. Maybe they can be reminded of all the heroic Lions victories (??????). Maybe they will ask themselves: what would Barry do? Hey, if Tony Battie went 9-9 from the field and scored 20 points for the Magic last night, then anything is possible.

Woah, woah, woah, hold the phone. Rick Astley just made a surprise appearance at the Thanksgiving Day Parade and sang his timeless tune “Never Gonna Give You Up.” Unbelievable! Wow, now I believe that anything is possible in this world. All signs are pointing to a Lions victory today. That being said, I’ll take the Titans (-11) over Detroit. Sorry.

The ‘Boys are back in town. Romo is back in action and Dallas is getting back into early season form. They’ve got a couple of feeling-it-out games under their belt, and I fully expect them get back into contention in the NFC. As much as I hate to admit it, Owens had a crazy good game against San Francisco, and he’ll most likely have a similar day today. Dallas (-12) big over Seattle.

I am tremendously perplexed as to why Philadelphia is favored in the game tonight. McNabb got negative fantasy points last week. He has 7 turnovers in his last 2 games, and that includes last week’s game which he was pulled from, so it’s more like 1 ½ games. The Eagles were 0-1-1 in those games, and were lucky to come away with the tie against Cincy. This same thing happens every year it seems. Donovan starts the season out well and then begins to struggle and finishes poorly, and everyone in Philadelphia talks about getting rid of him and/or Andy Reid. It’s just a matter of time until they do both, and given McNabb’s comments after the game against the Bengals, that time should be now. What kind of idiot doesn’t know there are ties in the NFL? There have been ties in the NFL since McNabb has been in the league. The best part is when McNabb questions the rule by saying that he wonders what happens in a playoff game or the Super Bowl, like he thinks they would end either of those in a tie. You know what Donovan, don’t worry about that because your team won’t have to worry about that situation occurring, at least not this year. I forget if he graduated from Syracuse or left early before he could get his diploma, but I’m guessing the latter. Arizona (+3) over Philadelphia.

Come Up and Get Your Hardware

2008-11-23T19:07:00.000-05:00

(Sorry, sorry, sorry I know I forgot to post it before the games started. I had a wild night last night and I couldn't even get out of bed to post this. It was a good night).

Week 12 already; only five more Sunday’s filled with football. Normally I would be very sad by this, I mean what am I supposed to do on Sunday’s if there is no football? I can’t watch movies on TBS, TNT, and USA for an entire day, that’s too boring and it can’t hold my attention long enough. Maybe for a couple hours max (I hate movies when there’s commercials in the middle of them). But, alas, college basketball season is here to catch me when I fall. This truly is the most wonderful time of the year, but it’s not because of the holidays. Refer to my college basketball blog for more on my feelings in that area. Anyways, as I was thinking how little time is left in the season, I began to formulate my awards. Behold.

MVP- I gotta say, I thought the era of Kurt Warner being in the MVP race had passed 7 or 8 years ago, but clearly I was mistaken. Although, anyone who thought those days weren’t over is a fool. Regardless, Warner was brought in with the intention of being a mentor and back up to Matt Leinart; to help him develop and progress into the Cardinals long-term quarterback. Safe to say that he’s certainly earning his money. Warner at this point has led Arizona to a 7-3 record and first place in the NFC West, granted that’s not saying much because the NFC West is the Big Ten of the NFL, but first place is first place. Warner leads the league in completions (270) and completion percentage (70.9%) and is also first in QB rating (105.5). He is second in the league in passing yards with 3155 behind only Drew Brees (3251), and is also second in touchdown passes with 20 (Rivers, 21) compared to just seven interceptions. I would say this guy is playing like he’s young again, but when he was younger he was bagging groceries. Point is, Warner has introduced success to the desert and he’s going to lead the Cardinals to the playoffs for the first time in 10 years.
Honorable Mention: Drew Brees

NOTE: I believe it’s naturally assumed and goes without saying that this award be marked with an asterisk*. It would be incredibly unfair to the legendary Tom Brady if it wasn’t, because as we all know he would have defended his title easily if given the opportunity. The only reason this award would even have a chance of going to anyone else is because he’s not in the running.

Comeback Player of the Year- I think that in order to be named comeback player of the year, one has to have actually been there before. It’s kind of implied by the actual name of the award, but I’m going to make a semi-exception in this case. The winner? The one and only Kerry Collins. Yes, gray beard and all. Tennessee is out to a 10-0 start and is the only undefeated team in the league. Sure, Collins hasn’t blown anyone away with his numbers. The Titans have been winning with great defense and a solid running game, but that doesn’t diminish the job Collins has done. The Titans have won several close games, and they haven’t all been just because of the defense. Remember the comeback at Chicago? What about the overtime victory over Green Bay? Or the 14-3 deficit they erased against Jacksonville? Maybe he’s only thrown 8 touchdowns, but he’s only had 4 interceptions. He’s managed the game for the Titans without making mistakes, and he’s given them the offense at times when they need it. Most of all, he’s proven he can still win in this league.

Rookie of the Year- With all due respect to the great class of rookie running backs (Chris Johnson, Matt Forte, Steve Slaton, etc.), this award goes out to Matt “The Future” Ryan. Yes, I gave him a nickname myself, it has a nice ring to it. Ryan has taken the Falcons out of the basement of the NFC South and resurrected them to a 6-4 record. He has all the tools to become a star in the NFL, and he’s shown flashes of brilliance this season. He already has a go-to guy in Roddy White which is huge for young QB. To create that chemistry with a receiver and develop a comfort level is something key to helping a young quarterback succeed.

Most Improved Player- Is there any doubt about this one? The guy threw for 400 yards and rushed for 60, and he’s led the Patriots to a 6-4 record after Brady, the reigning MVP, was injured for the season in the very first quarter of the year. Even ignoring the stat line from that game, he proved he is similar to his mentor by being money in the clutch. After releasing that perfectly placed ball to Randy Moss to tie the game at the end of regulation, the recipient of this award became clear: Matt Cassell. After all, you can’t have a bigger improvement than going from not playing since high school to what he’s done.

Best Actor- An award inspired by the exquisite performances of Peyton Manning on the screen goes to the originator. No one has come close to dethroning the king. His brother Eli showed potential in the commercial with big bro and the William’s sisters, but he has since faded. When was the last time he came out with a new commercial? He gave up on himself too fast, it’s a shame. I do have to give honorable mentions to Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and Brian Billick in the new set of Coors Light commercials. Granted they didn’t really know they were acting, but those things are hilarious. Oh, and I was paroosing through youtube looking for these commercials but I didn't have any luck (granted I probably could've tried a little harder) but I did stumble upon this absolutely hysterical parody of those commercials. It’s done by a bunch of kids and they use the infamous tirade Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy from last year. Check it out.

Player You Love to Hate- I’m going to go in a different direction with this one. Everyone knows I love to hate on Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens and people of that stature, but right now I’m hating on a lesser known loud mouth: Joey Porter. Did you hear what he said to Keyshawn Johnson in an interview? I just saw it on the ESPN pregame show and I am fuming. I wasn’t going to have an award like this but Porter just instilled so much hate in me that I have to let it out. He told Keyshawn that he thinks that Pittsburgh could have smoked the Pats in those two AFC Championships they lost to them during the Pats run, and that the only reason they didn’t was because they must have taped them. Then, when I didn’t think I could hate anyone more than I hated him at that moment, he attacked the man himself, saying that Tom Brady is only as good as he is because he uses the alleged tapes. I cannot wait to see the Miami defense get smoked today by Brady’s understudy. I’m looking for an embarrassment of epic proportions, and I wouldn’t mind if Porter got hurt either. Career-ending would be nice. If you're a Pats fan and you're looking to get pissed off, here's part of the script from that interview.

“I am MAN” award- How could it be anyone besides Anquan Boldin? The guy had eight metal plates and forty screws inserted in his face, and then came back after only a month and picked up right where he left off: torching secondaries. Find me an example from someone else that proves they’re more of man than this guy. Go ahead and try. You won’t find anything.

Picks:

Cleveland (-3) over Houston- The Brady Quinn era takes form
Kansas City (+3) over Buffalo- Call it a hunch
NY Jets (+5.5) over Tennessee- Titans will continue to prevail in close games
New England (-2) over Miami- Redemption
Dallas (-9.5) over San Francisco- Remember when this game meant something?
Tampa Bay (-8) over Detroit- Culpepper: more INT’s then completions this game?
Philadelphia (+2) over Baltimore- McNabb’s IQ=7.9
Chicago (-7) over St. Louis- No Steven Jackson, no competition
Minnesota (+2) over Jacksonville- Jags need to start thinking about next year
Carolina (+1) over Atlanta- I have a man crush on Matt Ryan
Oakland (+8) over Denver- Over/under on people watching this game: 17
Washington (-3) over Seattle- People don’t seem to mention the Seahawks when they talk about bad teams and I don’t know why
NY Giants (-3) over Arizona- Warner only gets 400 yards this week
Indianapolis (+3) over San Diego- Two teams going in opposite directions
New Orleans (-1.5) over Green Bay- Fantasy dream game

Last week: 8-7
Season: 37-73-1

Who Really Won Thursday Night?

2008-11-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

The Patriots may have lost on Thursday night, but Matt Cassel certainly didn’t. I’m not saying Cassel doesn’t care about the team, and I’m sure he would love to lead the Patriots into the playoffs, but after Thursday’s 400 yard passing, 60 yard rushing performance, he has to be thinking just a little selfishly. This guy hadn’t started a game since high school before this year. He knows that the Patriots job is not his after this year, and he’s going to be somewhere else next year if he knows what’s good for him. His stock rises with every game, and he has to be thinking about contract offers after he becomes a free agent at the end of the season. Personally I could care less about what happens to him after this year, I just want to see the Pats win, but you got to feel good for this guy as he develops right in front of everyone’s eyes. As for the actual game, well, screw the Jets I don’t want to talk about it. Patriots will still end up winning the division though; that is a promise.

Not an ideal start, but not a bad one. I’ll certainly take it and use it as a stepping stone. 8-5 last week; above .500, but not at a high enough winning percentage to ultimately meet my goal. It’s still going to have to improve from here on out. I did make a miscalculation last week however (sorry, the only math class I’ve taken in college was Baseball Statistics). I said that there were eight weeks left, 14 games a week, for a total of 112. Subtract one for the Thursday night game, and you get 111. What I forgot though, was that last week was the last week for byes. So, for these last seven weeks, there will be 16 games a week. Seven times 16 is 112. So, I thought I had 111 games before last week, but it turns out I actually have 112 as of right now. Let’s be realistic though, I’m way too busy a person to have my picks done before Thursday night, and there’s no way I’ll be able to get them done for the Thursday night games (which no one watches anyways because no one has the stupid NFL Network). I have too many things to do on my schedule, like sleep, eat, watch TV, paroose the Internet aimlessly, maybe go to an occasional class; I could go on forever. But anyways, let’s eliminate some of those games I won’t get to. I will be able to do all three on Turkey Day, and there is no Thursday game for week 17. Ok, so that’s a total of five games that I will miss. That brings my total games left to 107. After last week, my record has moved to 29-66-1. So now to officially announce what I must do to accomplish my goal: I must finish the season 72-34-1 or better to be above .500. Really not much different at all from last week’s prediction of 76-35. That means that 8-5, although not a bad start, is unacceptable from now on. 10-5 or better every week. Let’s get to work.

Atlanta (-6.5) over Denver

Montana to Rice; child’s play. Manning to Harrison; amateur hour. Matt Ryan to Roddy White is the connection of the future. They’re going to break all the records, and Denver’s suspect defense is going to help them on the way.

Miami (-10) over Oakland

Dolphin’s defense is going to literally eat the Oakland offense alive. They’re easily going to score more points on the day than Jamarcus Russell and Co.

NY Giants (-7) over Baltimore

Raven’s defense will keep them in the game, but ultimately I see more problems being caused by the Giant’s big play defense against the rookie Flacco, despite his solid play recently.

Indianapolis (-8) over Houston

As much as I hate to say it, back-to-back wins over New England and Pittsburgh have me starting to once again fear the Colts. With Sage Rosenfels at the helm for Houston, I feel my fears will only be reiterated this week.

Tennessee (-3) over Jacksonville

I find it hard to believe the Titans are still undefeated. They seem like the worst undefeated team of all time, but that’s just because that’s how the media portrays them because they can win ugly. Lots of people like this upset pick, but a big win over the powerhouse Lions doesn’t convince me that the Jags are good enough to win this game.

Green Bay (-3.5) over Chicago

I don’t know why I continue to pick Green Bay in all these tight games. I can’t give up on them though, and with a 40% percent chance of snow at Lambeau, I’m not going to start going against them today.

Philadelphia (-9) over Cincinnati

Cincinnati has played their NFC opponents close this year (Dallas, NY Giants) but that pattern is not going to continue. The Eagles will dump a heaping pile of points on the Bengals.

New Orleans (-5.5) over Kansas City

I refuse to go against Drew Brees if unless he is playing one of the best defenses in the league. Kansas City is not one of those, and even without Bush the Saints offense will continue to look good. They’ll be real scary when Bush gets back and everyone’s healthy.

Carolina (-14) over Detroit

Umm, I don’t know what to say. Do I really need to give a reason for this one? Nah, didn’t think so.

Minnesota (+4.5) over Tampa Bay

Adrian Peterson is the NFL’s version of LeBron James. He is the definition of a man. Minnesota is a good team that has suffered up until now because of a difficult schedule, but now I think is when they start to create some distance in the NFC North race, lead by AD.

San Francisco (-6.5) over St. Louis

49ers are looking for some redemption after Monday night’s fiasco. St. Louis still has no Steven Jackson aka no offense.

Arizona (-3) over Seattle

Hasselbeck’s return is not going to make a difference; Seattle has way bigger problems than who’s starting at QB. Warner will throw for his typical 500 yards, and the Seahawks will have no answer for Fitzgerald or Boldin.

Pittsburgh (-5) over San Diego

I really don’t know what to say about the Chargers. There is no reason they should be doing this poorly with all the talent they have. I didn’t realize the Norv Turner factor would have such a big affect. The Steelers may be banged up, but they’re still a better team than the Chargers are right now.

Dallas (-1.5) over Washington

Romo’s return will have to revitalize the Cowboys, because if they are going to make a push for the playoffs it’s going to have to start now. I think Romo will get right back into the swing of things, and I think he’ll make use of his newest weapon, the other Roy Williams.

Cleveland (+5.5) over Buffalo

The Browns have been just wading in the water all year until last week, when their offense showed some life under Brady Quinn. The decision to go with Quinn will benefit the Browns in the long run, and it will also benefit them this week against a team that's lost three straight.

Down To Business

2008-11-09T13:03:00.001-05:00

I don’t know what to say. It’s not that I don’t care. Really, it’s not. So, maybe it does seem that every NFL team is out to get me and prove me a fool. That wouldn’t stop me. I still had a winning record before I stopped making picks after all. One of my friends called me out on this. He called me a chump, said I stopped making picks because I was too frustrated and too embarrassed. That’s just not the case. All I can say is that these last few weeks have been tough for me (and I’m not talking about my picks) and I just wasn’t able to stay committed. Things have changed now, and it’s time to get back on track. I’m going to prove that I have the knowledge and ability to conquer this paradox that is the NFL. With that said, here is my proposition to you. Every game, EVERY GAME, that I have missed over the last three weeks I will count as a loss. After my last set of picks, I had a record of 21-19-1. Three weeks of 14 games a week adds up to a monumental 42 losses. That puts me at a cumulative record of 21-61-1. My goal, which mark my words will be accomplished, is to finish the season above .500. There are eight weeks left in the season. Eight times 14 is 112, then subtract one for this week’s Thursday night game. That means I have 111 games left to go at least 40 games above .500, which means I have to be at least 76-35. This would put me at a final record of 97-96-1. There it is people, I’ve laid it all out on the table for you to see. It’s all business from here on out, so all you doubters can bring the hate. You will regret it. I am recommitted and determined, and I will not be stopped.

Picks:

Detroit (+6) over Jacksonville
Tennessee (-3) over Chicago
New England (-3.5) over Buffalo
New Orleans (+1.5) over Atlanta
NY Jets (-9.5) over St. Louis
Miami (-8) over Seattle
Green Bay (+2.5) over Minnesota
Carolina (-10) over Oakland
Kansas City (+14.5) over San Diego
Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Indianapolis
NY Giants (+3) over Philadelphia
Baltimore (+2) over Houston
Arizona (-9.5) over San Francisco

2008-10-19T10:42:00.001-04:00

Sorry, no post this week for personal reasons. I know my millions of fans will be devastated.

Week 6: Not So Proud To Be A Texan

2008-10-12T12:11:00.000-04:00

So, what have we learned from this past week in the NFL? For one thing, we learned that Sage Rosenfels will never have to pay for a drink again in the state of Indiana. He single handedly brought upon the Texans one of the worst collapses I have ever witnessed. I seriously believe that people don’t understand the magnitude of this epic meltdown. This is one that you don’t recover from. This is like White Goodman after Globo Gym loses to Average Joe’s. I don’t think the Texans can rebound from this loss. Their year might as well be over. It’s a shame, especially with all the devastation that the city of Houston has endured recently. Don’t hang your heads though, at least you still have…(let me see, the Rockets can’t make it out of the first round, the Astros didn’t make the playoffs, the Comets…) the Comets! How are they doing?

Another thing: Miami is going to the Super Bowl. Don’t even begin to question it, just accept it as fact. They are going to ride Ronnie Brown’s option offense right through the AFC and into the big game. They already beat the two teams that played for the AFC championship last year, who will stand in their way? It’s safe to say that this is not what Parcells had in mind when he took over the reigns of the team, but it’s working. To think the Dolphins have spent so long looking for a quarterback when they never really needed one. Ronnie Brown will be the highest rated passer in the league by the end of the year, going 10 for 10 with 10 touchdowns. Go ahead and laugh at me. You’ll see soon enough. The Pats and Chargers aren’t laughing. Pick time.

New Orleans (-7) over Oakland

How will the Raiders respond after the whole debacle with Lane Kiffin? Wait, does anybody care? It’s the Raiders. The Saints need this win after giving the game to Minnesota on Monday night, and they will.
Sidenote: when will teams realize that Martin Gramatica is not good and should not be in the league?

Baltimore (+3.5) over Indianapolis

The Colts owe this loss to karma. They were handed last week’s game on a silver platter as a gift from God, and they don’t deserve to win this game. They haven’t looked like the Colts of old at all, but I still have that feeling in my stomach that they will pull out close games at the end. It’s time for that to end. It starts this week.

New York Jets (-9.5) over Cincinnati

The Bengals played the Cowboys tough last week. They played the Giants tough a couple weeks before that. Why do they play well against the NFC East, the best division in the game? Well the Jets aren’t in that division, and I think their offense will pick up where they left off against Arizona, especially when they face the vaunted Cincy defense. Throw in the fact that Palmer isn’t going to play, and this is going to be a blowout.

Carolina (+1.5) over Tampa Bay

I am so excited that Carolina has returned to its form from their Super Bowl year. I knew that the return of Muhsin Muhammed was all they needed. Jake Delhomme’s “Tommy John” surgery was a cover up; apparently he just replaced his right arm with a bionic one because he is slinging the ball. I don’t know why I like the Panthers, but what do you care. Tampa Bay won’t be able to run the ball, and I don’t think Griese’s arm can score enough points for the Bucs to win. Tampa is too distracted by the Rays right now anyways.

Minnesota (-13.5) over Detroit

There’s not much to say here. I think Detroit should literally be spotted 13.5 points, then this would be a very interesting game. Minnesota finally gets a break in their tough schedule, and they are going to take advantage of it.

Chicago (-3) over Atlanta

That win in Green Bay was huge for this overachieving Falcons team, and they’ve proved they are going to put up a fight this year. I still believe the Bears are a better team and more fit to make a playoff run, but there’s no doubt that Atlanta is having the best season in the league so far. They needed this start, and hopefully they can continue it.

Miami (+3) at Houston

What did I say? Houston is done. Put a fork in them. They are devastated, and now they will get pummeled by the invincible force that is the Miami Dolphins. The stars are aligning and this is the perfect situation for a rout.

Washington (-13.5) over St. Louis

Alright Washington, I’m sorry. I doubted you. I thought your win in Dallas was somewhat of a fluke. Forgive me. I am now officially on your bandwagon, and I will ride your coattails for as long as you can keep this up. This matchup seems extremely unfair, and is cruel and unusual punishment for the Rams.

Denver (-3.5) over Jacksonville

Wow, Denver’s defense does exist. Now if they can be consistent, Denver has a chance to be really good. The Jags have looked shaky all season, and the home field advantage should be enough for the Broncos to get the victory, even if their defense does disappear again.

Philadelphia (-4.5) over San Francisco

The Eagles have to be the best 2-3 team in the history of the league. I still look at them as a Super Bowl threat if they can stay healthy. Unfortunately that is their problem. No Brian Westbrook shouldn’t stop them from beating the 49ers, but they can only go so far in the NFC East if he’s consistently getting hurt.

Dallas (-4.5) over Arizona

Dallas’ defense has been overrated and they’ve been struggling lately, but the Cardinals’ defense is no prize either. This is going to be a shootout, and despite 9,000 passing yards from Kurt Warner, the Cowboys will still pull it out.

Green Bay (+1.5) over Seattle

How can Seattle be favored here? Granted the Packers are having their problems, but they are still a solid team. The Seahawks proved just how terrible they can be last week against the Giants. Sometimes it looks like they are not even trying.

San Diego (-5) over New England

This is really hard for me to do. I love the Pats, but I have to face the music. Nothing is going to happen this year. The Chargers’ talent will finally come out and the Pats defense will once again be exposed. Most of New England has the Sox to take their minds off this NFL season, but I’m a Yankees fan. What do I do?

New York Giants (-8) over Cleveland

Upon hearing that the Giants were facing the Browns, Eli Manning announced “Oooo, we’re scared.” Hah that will never get old, I love that commercial. This is the definition of a mismatch. The Browns and Derek Anderson have proved they were just a one-year-wonder.

Last Week: 10-3-1
Season: 15-11-1

Week 5: NFC>AFC

2008-10-05T16:52:00.000-04:00

It’s safe to say that my theory completely backfired on me. Can’t say I didn’t deserve it though. I tried to cover my tracks and help myself by saying that weeks 1-3 were too hard to pick, I should have figured that this would happen. It’s fair that week 4 would have some unpredictable outcomes. Kansas City over Denver though? Really? I guess I forgot that Herm Edwards plays to win the game. Now I feel bad for hating on them so much. But not that bad. And who could have picked the ever so potent Jets offense (joke) to drop 56 points? Whatever, the past is the past and I will just make up for it this week.

If there is one thing that I’ve taken away from this football season so far, it’s this: the NFC is the new AFC. Seriously, the AFC is no longer the power conference. Brady is done and so are the Pats it would appear, the Colts and Peyton Manning are not the same as they’ve been in past years, San Diego can’t put all their talent together, and the Jags and Steelers have been shaky. I underestimated how good of a brother Peyton Manning is, because clearly he gave a lot of his talent to his little bro Eli sometime late last season (and that includes acting skills as well, Eli is really blossoming in that department though he has work to do if he wants to match Peyton). The class of the AFC is the Titans and the Bills. These are two solid teams, but let’s face it, neither is a serious title contender as of right now. Who is the legitimate championship threat from the AFC? Denver was a possibility until KC brutally exposed their defense, which definitely needs to be patched up. I don’t know if there is anyone who could challenge the juggernaut that is the NFC East. Washington aside, though they are a good team, I don’t think the other three teams could be beaten by any AFC team right now. Look at all the big matchups between conferences this year, almost all have been won by the NFC. Chicago over Indy, Philly over Pitt, Carolina over San Diego, all won by the NFC team. There have only been a couple of exceptions (Indy over Minnesota, Denver over New Orleans). I guess you could say the Jets over the Cardinals too, but any game with a team from the NFC West doesn’t count. It’s a shame that a team from that division has to go to the playoffs. It’s going to be a free win for whoever draws that card in the first round. There’s actually a decent chance that a team with a losing record could host a playoff game. I know we like football because of the parody, but come on something like that should never happen. Let’s get to some picks.

Indianapolis (-4) over Houston

The Texans showed promise last week against Jacksonville, reminding people of why they were 8-8 last year and had high hopes for this year. Fact of the matter is, Indy is not falling to 1-3 and 0-2 in the division. I’m not convinced that the Colts are fading from the picture already; they still have some good years left.

Tennessee (-1) over Baltimore

A Raven’s defensive player called Kerry Collins so slow that his 40 speed needed to be measured with a sundial. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you don’t feed the fire that is Kerry Collins. Just kidding, I don’t even know what that means, but Tennessee will win in a low scoring slugfest.

San Diego (-6) over Miami

Despite the troubles that the Chargers have had this year, they will not lose to Miami with all the talent they have. Miami’s sneaky little scheme may have worked one week against the Pats, but in the NFL, something like that can only be used and work once. Dolphins fans, don’t get too excited over the upset of the Pats two weeks ago. You’re still the Dolphins.

Carolina (-9.5) over Kansas City

It’s safe to say that Carolina’s defense is much better than Denver’s, and Kansas City will not be able to repeat the miracle they performed last week. Plus, with the reunion of the Steve Smith and Muhsin Muhammed, the greatest combo since peanut butter and jelly, Carolina is unstoppable. Not really, but was just a big fan of that combo back when the Panthers went to the Super Bowl.

Washington (+6.5) over Philadelphia

Washington was really impressive last week winning in Dallas, but to ask them to win on the road in this division for the second straight week is just too much. I like the ‘Skins to cover, but they won’t beat the Eagles with McNabb and Westbrook both playing.

Chicago (-3.5) over Detroit

The Bears are a tough team to get a read on. They beat Indy and then surprisingly upset Philly last week, but I still don’t have confidence in them. Even the games they lost were close and to good teams. One thing I do know about them is that they’re better than the lowly Lions.

Atlanta (+5.5) over Green Bay

Forget just the Bears, all three respectable NFC North teams are hard to get a read on. I just can’t tell how good each of the teams actually is. Atlanta has a lot of things working in their favor. Matt Ryan has a bright future, and Michael Turner has unveiled what a beast he is. Atlanta has all but forgotten about the Michael Vick debacle, and I like the Falcons to pull an upset especially with Rodger's injured shoulder.

New York (-6.5) over Seattle

I would say that the Seahawks would have a remote chance if the game was in Seattle and the Giants weren’t also coming off a bye week. But that’s not the case here.

Tampa Bay (+3.5) over Denver

Ok, it’s time to start believing in the Bucs. Denver’s underbelly was exploited last week, and Tampa will hit them where it hurts. Cutler won’t be able to put up the big stats he has been this year against the Bucs defense either.

New England (-3) over San Francisco

Ronnie Brown and the Dolphins ran all over the, to put it nicely, “mature” Pats defense. It scares me to think what Frank “the Tank” Gore could do. But has it really gotten that bad that I’m picking the 49ers to beat Belicheck’s Patriots? Nope, no way, won’t go there.

Buffalo (+2.5) over Arizona

Wait, so let me get this straight. What do the Cardinals get for getting blown away by the Jets and giving up 56 points? They get favored to beat the team leading the Jets division the very next week. The venue maybe has changed, but not the entire Cardinals’ team, they’re still the same.

Dallas (-16) over Cincinnati

The Bengals are going to be like pigs to the slaughter when they walk onto the field. The Cowboy’s are going to take out all their aggression and frustration from last week’s loss and unload on the Bengals. Poor Cincy, they don’t stand a chance. O yeah, and Ocho Cinco doesn’t come through on his promise.

Pittsburgh (+5.5) over Jacksonville

The Steelers will cover, but they will not win. The Jaguars have the Steelers number, as they beat them in both meetings last year, including a playoff win in Pittsburgh. Couple that with virtually no running game available for Sunday night, and things don’t look good for Pitt. Gut instinct is the only reason I have for them even covering.

Minnesota (+3) over New Orleans

Who the hell made Minnesota’s schedule? It is quite possibly the most difficult schedule in the history of the world. They got absolutely screwed. They can’t fall to 1-4 and keep their playoff hopes alive.

Last Week: 5-8

*I forgot to post this before the games started, but rested assured the picks were already made

Week 4: Goodbye Pats

2008-09-28T10:45:00.000-04:00

Let’s face it, you can’t ask someone to make picks for weeks 1-3 in the NFL. There’s just know way of telling what’s going to happen. It’s just too much. Too many unknowns. I like to think of these weeks as a judgment period; a few games to observe and get a feel for the teams. For example, the Browns, the Bills, the Broncos, the Seahawks, the Ravens, I could name almost every team here. If I had made my picks for the first three weeks I would have made myself look bad, and nobody wants that, especially me. I say that three weeks is sufficient time to get a good read on teams. Call me on taking the easy way out, whatever, I don’t care. I stand by decision. I just hope I don’t make myself look bad now because I won’t have any excuse.

As a Patriots fan, Tom Brady’s injury in Week 1 crushed me. All my hopes and dreams for the year shattered. I haven’t cried so much since the first time I watched Homeward Bound. But not all was lost. Matt Cassel defeated the rival Jets, and things were starting to look up again. “We’ll just do it like we did it in ‘01” I kept telling myself. Hell, Matt Cassel had a better career winning percentage that Brady going in to last week’s game against the Dolphins. That’s impressive. But the game reassured all my nightmares after week 1. The Dolphins, THE DOLPHINS, ran all over us, tore us apart, made our defense look their age. I kept screaming at the TV everytime the ‘Fins lined up in that stupid but effective formation. It was obviously going to be a run, but the Pats couldn’t do anything about it. Anyways, we’re back to where we were after week 1. Hopeless. Might as well get to the picks.

Denver (-9.5) over Kansas City

Jay Cutler has led the Broncos high powered offense to a 3-0 start, and the number one scoring offense in the league. Put Cutler down as the number one EMO quarterback of all time as of right now. The guy looks like he should be singing lead vocals for Fall Out Boy. Kansas City is already waiting for the end of the season. That, or their December 21 date with Miami. Could be there only chance at a win this season. I mean, their starting quarterback is Yancy Thigpen, errr, wait…

Cincinnati (-3.5) over Cleveland

This game is really just an embarrassment for the state of Ohio. If the people of Ohio had a vote, I’m betting they wouldn’t even play this game. On the other hand, it does give one of these teams a shot at a win. If this game ends in a tie, the whole state will be on suicide watch. Derek Anderson, only 3 games into the season, has already proven himself as the next Jim Harbaugh. Let’s not give him that much credit though, Harbaugh did make the AFC title game that year and the Browns didn’t even make the playoffs last year. Nevertheless, you get my point. Anderson is self-imploding, though his O-line has certainly helped him with that. It also doesn’t help that “star” receiver Braylon Edwards has looked a lot like the kid who can only catch toilet paper in Little Giants. Cincy is bad, but at least they showed signs of life last week against New York.

Jacksonville (-7) over Houston

Houston needs a shot of adrenaline. They haven’t been able to do any of the things they did right last year. Couple that with all the devastation Houston has endured in the wake of Ike, the Texans are in a world of turmoil. You can’t ignore the fact that both of their losses have come on the road to playoff teams, so I’m not willing to write them off yet. Still, Mario Williams pass rush will be about as useful as a Corona without a lime. The Jaguars are going to run it down their throat.

Arizona (+1.5) over New York Jets

The Jets are the most overrated thing since EasyMac. They were lucky to escape from the Dolphins, and got lit up at San Diego. They added Brett Favre, but let’s be real this team was 4-12 last year, why did everyone expect them to be so good? Now they have to play against an underrated Cardinals team. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald create a combo that rivals peanut butter and jelly. Good luck to the Jets’ DB’s. I guess it isn’t fair that I’ve been partial to the Cardinals ever since seeing Adrian Wilson’s jump.

New Orleans (-5) over San Francisco

I like this San Francisco team. They’ve got something about them. JT O’ Sullivan has brought the luck of the Irish with him. The 49ers 3-1 though? That doesn’t sound right. Especially when they would have to beat New Orleans to do that. New Orleans is too talented a team. Shockey’s injury hurts, especially with Colston still out, but Brees still has his options. Fantasy owners of Bush are chomping at the bit; they are a Devery Henderson ankle sprain away from controlling all of the Saints offense.

Alright you’re getting bored, you did not want to read this much. Some quick picks.

Carolina (-6.5) over Atlanta

Atlanta has beaten two teams that are worse than they are, and there’s only a couple more of those teams in the league. Carolina is not one.

Tennessee (-3) over Minnesota

Adrian Peterson runs into the brick wall that is the Titans D-line. More specifically, Albert Haynesworth.

Green Bay (+1) over Tampa Bay

Once Griese’s arm falls off the Bucs offense will be slightly one dimensional.

Buffalo (-8) over St. Louis

I am not even sure the Rams could compete in the SEC. They are painful to watch. 0-16 isn’t out of the question.

San Diego (-7.5) over Oakland

Chargers got unlucky two weeks in a row to two quality teams. They are still a very good team. The Raiders are not.

Dallas (-11) over Washington

Remember last year when Washington faced the highest-powered offense in the league? Cough52-7Patriotscough. Sorry Redskins fans.

Philadelphia (-3) over Chicago

Even without Westbrook, the Eagles will prevail. Griese proved all you have to do is throw the ball to beat the Bears, and McNabb is much better at that than he is.

Pittsburgh (-5.5) over Baltimore

Do not be fooled. Flacco and company are not that good. Baltimore’s defense will continue to win games for them this year, but not against the Steelers.