Look I know. I’m blowing it again. But I refuse to have a repeat of last year. No more missed weeks. And don’t expect me to take the losses for games I don’t pick like I did last year. Those were outstanding circumstances. This was just one week, so let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, bury the hatchet and move on. I can’t afford to take 16 losses. And forget about the season predictions. That ship set sail long ago, and it’s not like I’m an expert or anything or trying to be (but then what is the point of this blog?) I digress.
Before I get started, did everyone see Tim Wakefield win a million bucks by drilling that
hole-in-one a couple of weeks ago? That was awesome. Great shot, and an even better celebration. I wish the pros did it like that. Golf would be a lot more interesting. There just so good though that there’s no chance they would react like that unless it was to win the U.S. Open or something. Because after watching Vijah Singh get that hole-in-one at the
Masters par-3 tourney, I’m convinced golfers can do anything. (P.S. I find incredibly hard to believe that the guy is not Tim Wakefield. Just look at him. Are you serious?)
Actually this is a great segue; I have so many ideas floating around in my head on how to make golf a more exciting sport. For starters, trash talk must be allowed. Maybe not in the middle of someone’s backswing, but absolutely in between shots. It adds a whole different psychological dimension. Sure, golfers go through enough with the mental battle in their own head, but I’d like to see them handle getting rattled by other golfers smack talk. Another implement that needs to be added to the golfing world: a shot clock. This will be called dubbed the Sergio Garcia rule. I literally can’t watch that guy golf. Every time he flashes on the screen I change the channel, unless it’s one of those quick switches where the cameras get him right before he shoots. My final rule that I’ll hit you with for now (because I have many innovative ideas to reinvent the sport of golf which you will hear about at some point or another) is more of a philosophy and atmosphere than it is a rule. Ever since I saw Happy Gilmore, I have always envisioned that football-ish, Nascar-esque crowd at golf tournaments. Tailgating, alcohol vendors, air horns, the whole nine yards. Just think about it. Let these things stew around in your brain for a while, you’ll see it my way.
What am I supposed to be talking about again? O yeah, football. It is still a sore spot two weeks later, but this is one thing that I will say about the Jets-Pats catastrophe: Jets fans need to relax. Seriously. This was an actual Facebook status from one of my friends: “apparently the Jets just one the Super Bowl. Congratulations. Now the Patriots can focus on winning the ACTUAL Super Bowl.” I mean you guys gotta calm down. You played a good game and you finally beat us for like the first time in a decade or whatever. It’s been three weeks, and you have the makings of a good team, but it’s a long season, and you got a rookie QB. Also, your coach looks very susceptible to a heart attack at any moment. For now, just keep it in your pants and see what happens the rest of the season.
(That all being said, I’m kind of scared. I think the Pats will right the ship and be fine, but the Jets have looked too good. I really hope the Saints bring us all back to earth).
A quick random thought: I would like to go on record as saying that I would not go to a Browns/Rams game if someone paid me. My friends and I were having this discussion, and we decided that hands down it would be the worst NFL game in the history of the league. There is not one attractive feature that could possibly allure someone to that game, unless of course they went out of sheer curiosity to see how bad the worst the NFL has to offer really is. Actually the comedy factor of that game would be off the charts with just awful play and awful play. We’d be looking at possibly the first 0-0 tie ever. And not because of great defense, but because of a complete absence of anything even slightly resembling offense. You know what I just convinced myself. I take it back I would go.
Houston (-8.5) over Oakland- someone has to win
Tennessee (-3) over Jacksonville
New England (-2) over Baltimore- keeping the faith
Cincinnati (-6.5) over Cleveland- because their Cleveland
NY Giants (-8.5) over Kansas City
Detroit (+10) over Chicago- The Lions have had a knack for streaks lately, and they did win last week…
(Another P.S.- I totally picked the Lions to win last week. I could see that coming and I nailed it on the head, and I'm so pissed at myself for being lazy and not posting. Karma.)
Tampa Bay (+9) over Washington- a small step above Browns v. Rams
Indianapolis (-10) over Seattle
New Orleans (-7.5) over NY Jets- Jets get a reality check
Miami (-1) over Buffalo
San Francisco (-9) over St. Louis- for obvious reasons
Denver (+3) over Dallas
San Diego (+6) over Pittsburgh
Green Bay (+3.5) over Minnesota- Just read this blurb from Bill Simmons latest column:
“In one of those Nostradamus specials, I'm almost positive that he predicted floods, fires and pestilence if Brett Favre ever played against the Packers in a sanctioned NFL game. This is really a sporting event unlike any other. I can't stop thinking about Packers fans; if Larry Bird had ever played against the Celtics, I would have wandered the streets of Boston for weeks and probably ended up trying heroin. Hard to believe we're here.”
Last week (2 weeks ago): 8-8
Season: 17-15
