One of the basic rules of physics goes as follows:
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I find no better example in life than what is going on right now. My senior year of college is underway, and I am feeling all the pressures of the real world on my shoulders as I plan to graduate in nine months. Gotta tell you, I thought that when I saw Angelica Houston
reveal herself as a witch in “The Witches” when I was four years old that I would never be more scared in my life, but this is pretty damn close.
But, like in physics, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and that is the return of the NFL. Aside from March Madness, the NFL is the greatest sports event, and it happens every single week. It provides that breath of fresh air, where school and work go out the window and all that matters is the fantasy production of the players on your team and those on the team of your unlucky opponent (at least in my case; my teams are going to friggen clean up, but that is a topic to be discussed later).
And once again this time is upon us. The great thing about the beginning of the season is that every team starts with a clean slate. After my collapse last season (if you want to see my record look in the past blogs, but you could not pay me enough to counter the embarrassment I would receive posting it to remind you). That All-Disappointment Team I promised and never delivered on? Just chalk me up as the starter, coach, and MVP of that team. Just and all-around meltdown. But that was last season and this is this season. If the Detroit Lions get to start off back at .500, then so do I. 0-0-0 baby.
Let me share with you some things I learned in the offseason:
1. Michael Crabtree is an idiot
2. I inexplicably may miss John Madden
3. Brett Favre will never retire; he will just die of old age
4. I hate Jay Cutler
5. The video of Brandon Marshall swatting away passes is hilarious
6. Ochocinco was born to be a reality TV star; T.O. was not
I think anyone can deduce where I got these from, it’s pretty self-explanatory. I need to get these picks in before Tennessee and Pittsburgh kick off, but you can expect some predictions (for both the season and for fantasy) to come shortly. And of course, a tribute to my main man Tedy Bruschi. Don’t think for a second that I overlooked that.
Making selections for Week 1 of the NFL regular season reminds me of that new show on ABC where people date in the dark. You really don’t know what you’re dealing with; everything is just based on gut instinct. Let’s roll the dice:
Pittsburgh (-6.5) over Tennessee
Atlanta (-4) over Miami
Kansas City (+13) over Baltimore
Philadelphia (-2.5) over Carolina
Denver (+4) over Cincinnati
Minnesota (-4) over Cleveland
Houston (-4.5) over NY Jets
Indianapolis (-7) over Jacksonville
New Orleans (-13) over Detroit
Tampa Bay (+6) over Dallas
San Francisco (+6.5) over Arizona
Washington (+6.5) over NY Giants
Seattle (-8.5) over St. Louis
Green Bay (-3.5) over Chicago
New England (-11) over Buffalo
San Diego (-9.5) over Oakland
