I Ain't Dead Yet
16 years ago
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Week 6: Not So Proud To Be A Texan
So, what have we learned from this past week in the NFL? For one thing, we learned that Sage Rosenfels will never have to pay for a drink again in the state of Indiana. He single handedly brought upon the Texans one of the worst collapses I have ever witnessed. I seriously believe that people don’t understand the magnitude of this epic meltdown. This is one that you don’t recover from. This is like White Goodman after Globo Gym loses to Average Joe’s. I don’t think the Texans can rebound from this loss. Their year might as well be over. It’s a shame, especially with all the devastation that the city of Houston has endured recently. Don’t hang your heads though, at least you still have…(let me see, the Rockets can’t make it out of the first round, the Astros didn’t make the playoffs, the Comets…) the Comets! How are they doing?
Another thing: Miami is going to the Super Bowl. Don’t even begin to question it, just accept it as fact. They are going to ride Ronnie Brown’s option offense right through the AFC and into the big game. They already beat the two teams that played for the AFC championship last year, who will stand in their way? It’s safe to say that this is not what Parcells had in mind when he took over the reigns of the team, but it’s working. To think the Dolphins have spent so long looking for a quarterback when they never really needed one. Ronnie Brown will be the highest rated passer in the league by the end of the year, going 10 for 10 with 10 touchdowns. Go ahead and laugh at me. You’ll see soon enough. The Pats and Chargers aren’t laughing. Pick time.
New Orleans (-7) over Oakland
How will the Raiders respond after the whole debacle with Lane Kiffin? Wait, does anybody care? It’s the Raiders. The Saints need this win after giving the game to Minnesota on Monday night, and they will.
Sidenote: when will teams realize that Martin Gramatica is not good and should not be in the league?
Baltimore (+3.5) over Indianapolis
The Colts owe this loss to karma. They were handed last week’s game on a silver platter as a gift from God, and they don’t deserve to win this game. They haven’t looked like the Colts of old at all, but I still have that feeling in my stomach that they will pull out close games at the end. It’s time for that to end. It starts this week.
New York Jets (-9.5) over Cincinnati
The Bengals played the Cowboys tough last week. They played the Giants tough a couple weeks before that. Why do they play well against the NFC East, the best division in the game? Well the Jets aren’t in that division, and I think their offense will pick up where they left off against Arizona, especially when they face the vaunted Cincy defense. Throw in the fact that Palmer isn’t going to play, and this is going to be a blowout.
Carolina (+1.5) over Tampa Bay
I am so excited that Carolina has returned to its form from their Super Bowl year. I knew that the return of Muhsin Muhammed was all they needed. Jake Delhomme’s “Tommy John” surgery was a cover up; apparently he just replaced his right arm with a bionic one because he is slinging the ball. I don’t know why I like the Panthers, but what do you care. Tampa Bay won’t be able to run the ball, and I don’t think Griese’s arm can score enough points for the Bucs to win. Tampa is too distracted by the Rays right now anyways.
Minnesota (-13.5) over Detroit
There’s not much to say here. I think Detroit should literally be spotted 13.5 points, then this would be a very interesting game. Minnesota finally gets a break in their tough schedule, and they are going to take advantage of it.
Chicago (-3) over Atlanta
That win in Green Bay was huge for this overachieving Falcons team, and they’ve proved they are going to put up a fight this year. I still believe the Bears are a better team and more fit to make a playoff run, but there’s no doubt that Atlanta is having the best season in the league so far. They needed this start, and hopefully they can continue it.
Miami (+3) at Houston
What did I say? Houston is done. Put a fork in them. They are devastated, and now they will get pummeled by the invincible force that is the Miami Dolphins. The stars are aligning and this is the perfect situation for a rout.
Washington (-13.5) over St. Louis
Alright Washington, I’m sorry. I doubted you. I thought your win in Dallas was somewhat of a fluke. Forgive me. I am now officially on your bandwagon, and I will ride your coattails for as long as you can keep this up. This matchup seems extremely unfair, and is cruel and unusual punishment for the Rams.
Denver (-3.5) over Jacksonville
Wow, Denver’s defense does exist. Now if they can be consistent, Denver has a chance to be really good. The Jags have looked shaky all season, and the home field advantage should be enough for the Broncos to get the victory, even if their defense does disappear again.
Philadelphia (-4.5) over San Francisco
The Eagles have to be the best 2-3 team in the history of the league. I still look at them as a Super Bowl threat if they can stay healthy. Unfortunately that is their problem. No Brian Westbrook shouldn’t stop them from beating the 49ers, but they can only go so far in the NFC East if he’s consistently getting hurt.
Dallas (-4.5) over Arizona
Dallas’ defense has been overrated and they’ve been struggling lately, but the Cardinals’ defense is no prize either. This is going to be a shootout, and despite 9,000 passing yards from Kurt Warner, the Cowboys will still pull it out.
Green Bay (+1.5) over Seattle
How can Seattle be favored here? Granted the Packers are having their problems, but they are still a solid team. The Seahawks proved just how terrible they can be last week against the Giants. Sometimes it looks like they are not even trying.
San Diego (-5) over New England
This is really hard for me to do. I love the Pats, but I have to face the music. Nothing is going to happen this year. The Chargers’ talent will finally come out and the Pats defense will once again be exposed. Most of New England has the Sox to take their minds off this NFL season, but I’m a Yankees fan. What do I do?
New York Giants (-8) over Cleveland
Upon hearing that the Giants were facing the Browns, Eli Manning announced “Oooo, we’re scared.” Hah that will never get old, I love that commercial. This is the definition of a mismatch. The Browns and Derek Anderson have proved they were just a one-year-wonder.
Last Week: 10-3-1
Season: 15-11-1
Another thing: Miami is going to the Super Bowl. Don’t even begin to question it, just accept it as fact. They are going to ride Ronnie Brown’s option offense right through the AFC and into the big game. They already beat the two teams that played for the AFC championship last year, who will stand in their way? It’s safe to say that this is not what Parcells had in mind when he took over the reigns of the team, but it’s working. To think the Dolphins have spent so long looking for a quarterback when they never really needed one. Ronnie Brown will be the highest rated passer in the league by the end of the year, going 10 for 10 with 10 touchdowns. Go ahead and laugh at me. You’ll see soon enough. The Pats and Chargers aren’t laughing. Pick time.
New Orleans (-7) over Oakland
How will the Raiders respond after the whole debacle with Lane Kiffin? Wait, does anybody care? It’s the Raiders. The Saints need this win after giving the game to Minnesota on Monday night, and they will.
Sidenote: when will teams realize that Martin Gramatica is not good and should not be in the league?
Baltimore (+3.5) over Indianapolis
The Colts owe this loss to karma. They were handed last week’s game on a silver platter as a gift from God, and they don’t deserve to win this game. They haven’t looked like the Colts of old at all, but I still have that feeling in my stomach that they will pull out close games at the end. It’s time for that to end. It starts this week.
New York Jets (-9.5) over Cincinnati
The Bengals played the Cowboys tough last week. They played the Giants tough a couple weeks before that. Why do they play well against the NFC East, the best division in the game? Well the Jets aren’t in that division, and I think their offense will pick up where they left off against Arizona, especially when they face the vaunted Cincy defense. Throw in the fact that Palmer isn’t going to play, and this is going to be a blowout.
Carolina (+1.5) over Tampa Bay
I am so excited that Carolina has returned to its form from their Super Bowl year. I knew that the return of Muhsin Muhammed was all they needed. Jake Delhomme’s “Tommy John” surgery was a cover up; apparently he just replaced his right arm with a bionic one because he is slinging the ball. I don’t know why I like the Panthers, but what do you care. Tampa Bay won’t be able to run the ball, and I don’t think Griese’s arm can score enough points for the Bucs to win. Tampa is too distracted by the Rays right now anyways.
Minnesota (-13.5) over Detroit
There’s not much to say here. I think Detroit should literally be spotted 13.5 points, then this would be a very interesting game. Minnesota finally gets a break in their tough schedule, and they are going to take advantage of it.
Chicago (-3) over Atlanta
That win in Green Bay was huge for this overachieving Falcons team, and they’ve proved they are going to put up a fight this year. I still believe the Bears are a better team and more fit to make a playoff run, but there’s no doubt that Atlanta is having the best season in the league so far. They needed this start, and hopefully they can continue it.
Miami (+3) at Houston
What did I say? Houston is done. Put a fork in them. They are devastated, and now they will get pummeled by the invincible force that is the Miami Dolphins. The stars are aligning and this is the perfect situation for a rout.
Washington (-13.5) over St. Louis
Alright Washington, I’m sorry. I doubted you. I thought your win in Dallas was somewhat of a fluke. Forgive me. I am now officially on your bandwagon, and I will ride your coattails for as long as you can keep this up. This matchup seems extremely unfair, and is cruel and unusual punishment for the Rams.
Denver (-3.5) over Jacksonville
Wow, Denver’s defense does exist. Now if they can be consistent, Denver has a chance to be really good. The Jags have looked shaky all season, and the home field advantage should be enough for the Broncos to get the victory, even if their defense does disappear again.
Philadelphia (-4.5) over San Francisco
The Eagles have to be the best 2-3 team in the history of the league. I still look at them as a Super Bowl threat if they can stay healthy. Unfortunately that is their problem. No Brian Westbrook shouldn’t stop them from beating the 49ers, but they can only go so far in the NFC East if he’s consistently getting hurt.
Dallas (-4.5) over Arizona
Dallas’ defense has been overrated and they’ve been struggling lately, but the Cardinals’ defense is no prize either. This is going to be a shootout, and despite 9,000 passing yards from Kurt Warner, the Cowboys will still pull it out.
Green Bay (+1.5) over Seattle
How can Seattle be favored here? Granted the Packers are having their problems, but they are still a solid team. The Seahawks proved just how terrible they can be last week against the Giants. Sometimes it looks like they are not even trying.
San Diego (-5) over New England
This is really hard for me to do. I love the Pats, but I have to face the music. Nothing is going to happen this year. The Chargers’ talent will finally come out and the Pats defense will once again be exposed. Most of New England has the Sox to take their minds off this NFL season, but I’m a Yankees fan. What do I do?
New York Giants (-8) over Cleveland
Upon hearing that the Giants were facing the Browns, Eli Manning announced “Oooo, we’re scared.” Hah that will never get old, I love that commercial. This is the definition of a mismatch. The Browns and Derek Anderson have proved they were just a one-year-wonder.
Last Week: 10-3-1
Season: 15-11-1
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Week 5: NFC>AFC
It’s safe to say that my theory completely backfired on me. Can’t say I didn’t deserve it though. I tried to cover my tracks and help myself by saying that weeks 1-3 were too hard to pick, I should have figured that this would happen. It’s fair that week 4 would have some unpredictable outcomes. Kansas City over Denver though? Really? I guess I forgot that Herm Edwards plays to win the game. Now I feel bad for hating on them so much. But not that bad. And who could have picked the ever so potent Jets offense (joke) to drop 56 points? Whatever, the past is the past and I will just make up for it this week.
If there is one thing that I’ve taken away from this football season so far, it’s this: the NFC is the new AFC. Seriously, the AFC is no longer the power conference. Brady is done and so are the Pats it would appear, the Colts and Peyton Manning are not the same as they’ve been in past years, San Diego can’t put all their talent together, and the Jags and Steelers have been shaky. I underestimated how good of a brother Peyton Manning is, because clearly he gave a lot of his talent to his little bro Eli sometime late last season (and that includes acting skills as well, Eli is really blossoming in that department though he has work to do if he wants to match Peyton). The class of the AFC is the Titans and the Bills. These are two solid teams, but let’s face it, neither is a serious title contender as of right now. Who is the legitimate championship threat from the AFC? Denver was a possibility until KC brutally exposed their defense, which definitely needs to be patched up. I don’t know if there is anyone who could challenge the juggernaut that is the NFC East. Washington aside, though they are a good team, I don’t think the other three teams could be beaten by any AFC team right now. Look at all the big matchups between conferences this year, almost all have been won by the NFC. Chicago over Indy, Philly over Pitt, Carolina over San Diego, all won by the NFC team. There have only been a couple of exceptions (Indy over Minnesota, Denver over New Orleans). I guess you could say the Jets over the Cardinals too, but any game with a team from the NFC West doesn’t count. It’s a shame that a team from that division has to go to the playoffs. It’s going to be a free win for whoever draws that card in the first round. There’s actually a decent chance that a team with a losing record could host a playoff game. I know we like football because of the parody, but come on something like that should never happen. Let’s get to some picks.
Indianapolis (-4) over Houston
The Texans showed promise last week against Jacksonville, reminding people of why they were 8-8 last year and had high hopes for this year. Fact of the matter is, Indy is not falling to 1-3 and 0-2 in the division. I’m not convinced that the Colts are fading from the picture already; they still have some good years left.
Tennessee (-1) over Baltimore
A Raven’s defensive player called Kerry Collins so slow that his 40 speed needed to be measured with a sundial. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you don’t feed the fire that is Kerry Collins. Just kidding, I don’t even know what that means, but Tennessee will win in a low scoring slugfest.
San Diego (-6) over Miami
Despite the troubles that the Chargers have had this year, they will not lose to Miami with all the talent they have. Miami’s sneaky little scheme may have worked one week against the Pats, but in the NFL, something like that can only be used and work once. Dolphins fans, don’t get too excited over the upset of the Pats two weeks ago. You’re still the Dolphins.
Carolina (-9.5) over Kansas City
It’s safe to say that Carolina’s defense is much better than Denver’s, and Kansas City will not be able to repeat the miracle they performed last week. Plus, with the reunion of the Steve Smith and Muhsin Muhammed, the greatest combo since peanut butter and jelly, Carolina is unstoppable. Not really, but was just a big fan of that combo back when the Panthers went to the Super Bowl.
Washington (+6.5) over Philadelphia
Washington was really impressive last week winning in Dallas, but to ask them to win on the road in this division for the second straight week is just too much. I like the ‘Skins to cover, but they won’t beat the Eagles with McNabb and Westbrook both playing.
Chicago (-3.5) over Detroit
The Bears are a tough team to get a read on. They beat Indy and then surprisingly upset Philly last week, but I still don’t have confidence in them. Even the games they lost were close and to good teams. One thing I do know about them is that they’re better than the lowly Lions.
Atlanta (+5.5) over Green Bay
Forget just the Bears, all three respectable NFC North teams are hard to get a read on. I just can’t tell how good each of the teams actually is. Atlanta has a lot of things working in their favor. Matt Ryan has a bright future, and Michael Turner has unveiled what a beast he is. Atlanta has all but forgotten about the Michael Vick debacle, and I like the Falcons to pull an upset especially with Rodger's injured shoulder.
New York (-6.5) over Seattle
I would say that the Seahawks would have a remote chance if the game was in Seattle and the Giants weren’t also coming off a bye week. But that’s not the case here.
Tampa Bay (+3.5) over Denver
Ok, it’s time to start believing in the Bucs. Denver’s underbelly was exploited last week, and Tampa will hit them where it hurts. Cutler won’t be able to put up the big stats he has been this year against the Bucs defense either.
New England (-3) over San Francisco
Ronnie Brown and the Dolphins ran all over the, to put it nicely, “mature” Pats defense. It scares me to think what Frank “the Tank” Gore could do. But has it really gotten that bad that I’m picking the 49ers to beat Belicheck’s Patriots? Nope, no way, won’t go there.
Buffalo (+2.5) over Arizona
Wait, so let me get this straight. What do the Cardinals get for getting blown away by the Jets and giving up 56 points? They get favored to beat the team leading the Jets division the very next week. The venue maybe has changed, but not the entire Cardinals’ team, they’re still the same.
Dallas (-16) over Cincinnati
The Bengals are going to be like pigs to the slaughter when they walk onto the field. The Cowboy’s are going to take out all their aggression and frustration from last week’s loss and unload on the Bengals. Poor Cincy, they don’t stand a chance. O yeah, and Ocho Cinco doesn’t come through on his promise.
Pittsburgh (+5.5) over Jacksonville
The Steelers will cover, but they will not win. The Jaguars have the Steelers number, as they beat them in both meetings last year, including a playoff win in Pittsburgh. Couple that with virtually no running game available for Sunday night, and things don’t look good for Pitt. Gut instinct is the only reason I have for them even covering.
Minnesota (+3) over New Orleans
Who the hell made Minnesota’s schedule? It is quite possibly the most difficult schedule in the history of the world. They got absolutely screwed. They can’t fall to 1-4 and keep their playoff hopes alive.
Last Week: 5-8
*I forgot to post this before the games started, but rested assured the picks were already made
If there is one thing that I’ve taken away from this football season so far, it’s this: the NFC is the new AFC. Seriously, the AFC is no longer the power conference. Brady is done and so are the Pats it would appear, the Colts and Peyton Manning are not the same as they’ve been in past years, San Diego can’t put all their talent together, and the Jags and Steelers have been shaky. I underestimated how good of a brother Peyton Manning is, because clearly he gave a lot of his talent to his little bro Eli sometime late last season (and that includes acting skills as well, Eli is really blossoming in that department though he has work to do if he wants to match Peyton). The class of the AFC is the Titans and the Bills. These are two solid teams, but let’s face it, neither is a serious title contender as of right now. Who is the legitimate championship threat from the AFC? Denver was a possibility until KC brutally exposed their defense, which definitely needs to be patched up. I don’t know if there is anyone who could challenge the juggernaut that is the NFC East. Washington aside, though they are a good team, I don’t think the other three teams could be beaten by any AFC team right now. Look at all the big matchups between conferences this year, almost all have been won by the NFC. Chicago over Indy, Philly over Pitt, Carolina over San Diego, all won by the NFC team. There have only been a couple of exceptions (Indy over Minnesota, Denver over New Orleans). I guess you could say the Jets over the Cardinals too, but any game with a team from the NFC West doesn’t count. It’s a shame that a team from that division has to go to the playoffs. It’s going to be a free win for whoever draws that card in the first round. There’s actually a decent chance that a team with a losing record could host a playoff game. I know we like football because of the parody, but come on something like that should never happen. Let’s get to some picks.
Indianapolis (-4) over Houston
The Texans showed promise last week against Jacksonville, reminding people of why they were 8-8 last year and had high hopes for this year. Fact of the matter is, Indy is not falling to 1-3 and 0-2 in the division. I’m not convinced that the Colts are fading from the picture already; they still have some good years left.
Tennessee (-1) over Baltimore
A Raven’s defensive player called Kerry Collins so slow that his 40 speed needed to be measured with a sundial. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you don’t feed the fire that is Kerry Collins. Just kidding, I don’t even know what that means, but Tennessee will win in a low scoring slugfest.
San Diego (-6) over Miami
Despite the troubles that the Chargers have had this year, they will not lose to Miami with all the talent they have. Miami’s sneaky little scheme may have worked one week against the Pats, but in the NFL, something like that can only be used and work once. Dolphins fans, don’t get too excited over the upset of the Pats two weeks ago. You’re still the Dolphins.
Carolina (-9.5) over Kansas City
It’s safe to say that Carolina’s defense is much better than Denver’s, and Kansas City will not be able to repeat the miracle they performed last week. Plus, with the reunion of the Steve Smith and Muhsin Muhammed, the greatest combo since peanut butter and jelly, Carolina is unstoppable. Not really, but was just a big fan of that combo back when the Panthers went to the Super Bowl.
Washington (+6.5) over Philadelphia
Washington was really impressive last week winning in Dallas, but to ask them to win on the road in this division for the second straight week is just too much. I like the ‘Skins to cover, but they won’t beat the Eagles with McNabb and Westbrook both playing.
Chicago (-3.5) over Detroit
The Bears are a tough team to get a read on. They beat Indy and then surprisingly upset Philly last week, but I still don’t have confidence in them. Even the games they lost were close and to good teams. One thing I do know about them is that they’re better than the lowly Lions.
Atlanta (+5.5) over Green Bay
Forget just the Bears, all three respectable NFC North teams are hard to get a read on. I just can’t tell how good each of the teams actually is. Atlanta has a lot of things working in their favor. Matt Ryan has a bright future, and Michael Turner has unveiled what a beast he is. Atlanta has all but forgotten about the Michael Vick debacle, and I like the Falcons to pull an upset especially with Rodger's injured shoulder.
New York (-6.5) over Seattle
I would say that the Seahawks would have a remote chance if the game was in Seattle and the Giants weren’t also coming off a bye week. But that’s not the case here.
Tampa Bay (+3.5) over Denver
Ok, it’s time to start believing in the Bucs. Denver’s underbelly was exploited last week, and Tampa will hit them where it hurts. Cutler won’t be able to put up the big stats he has been this year against the Bucs defense either.
New England (-3) over San Francisco
Ronnie Brown and the Dolphins ran all over the, to put it nicely, “mature” Pats defense. It scares me to think what Frank “the Tank” Gore could do. But has it really gotten that bad that I’m picking the 49ers to beat Belicheck’s Patriots? Nope, no way, won’t go there.
Buffalo (+2.5) over Arizona
Wait, so let me get this straight. What do the Cardinals get for getting blown away by the Jets and giving up 56 points? They get favored to beat the team leading the Jets division the very next week. The venue maybe has changed, but not the entire Cardinals’ team, they’re still the same.
Dallas (-16) over Cincinnati
The Bengals are going to be like pigs to the slaughter when they walk onto the field. The Cowboy’s are going to take out all their aggression and frustration from last week’s loss and unload on the Bengals. Poor Cincy, they don’t stand a chance. O yeah, and Ocho Cinco doesn’t come through on his promise.
Pittsburgh (+5.5) over Jacksonville
The Steelers will cover, but they will not win. The Jaguars have the Steelers number, as they beat them in both meetings last year, including a playoff win in Pittsburgh. Couple that with virtually no running game available for Sunday night, and things don’t look good for Pitt. Gut instinct is the only reason I have for them even covering.
Minnesota (+3) over New Orleans
Who the hell made Minnesota’s schedule? It is quite possibly the most difficult schedule in the history of the world. They got absolutely screwed. They can’t fall to 1-4 and keep their playoff hopes alive.
Last Week: 5-8
*I forgot to post this before the games started, but rested assured the picks were already made
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