Week 4: Goodbye Pats

Let’s face it, you can’t ask someone to make picks for weeks 1-3 in the NFL. There’s just know way of telling what’s going to happen. It’s just too much. Too many unknowns. I like to think of these weeks as a judgment period; a few games to observe and get a feel for the teams. For example, the Browns, the Bills, the Broncos, the Seahawks, the Ravens, I could name almost every team here. If I had made my picks for the first three weeks I would have made myself look bad, and nobody wants that, especially me. I say that three weeks is sufficient time to get a good read on teams. Call me on taking the easy way out, whatever, I don’t care. I stand by decision. I just hope I don’t make myself look bad now because I won’t have any excuse.

As a Patriots fan, Tom Brady’s injury in Week 1 crushed me. All my hopes and dreams for the year shattered. I haven’t cried so much since the first time I watched Homeward Bound. But not all was lost. Matt Cassel defeated the rival Jets, and things were starting to look up again. “We’ll just do it like we did it in ‘01” I kept telling myself. Hell, Matt Cassel had a better career winning percentage that Brady going in to last week’s game against the Dolphins. That’s impressive. But the game reassured all my nightmares after week 1. The Dolphins, THE DOLPHINS, ran all over us, tore us apart, made our defense look their age. I kept screaming at the TV everytime the ‘Fins lined up in that stupid but effective formation. It was obviously going to be a run, but the Pats couldn’t do anything about it. Anyways, we’re back to where we were after week 1. Hopeless. Might as well get to the picks.

Denver (-9.5) over Kansas City

Jay Cutler has led the Broncos high powered offense to a 3-0 start, and the number one scoring offense in the league. Put Cutler down as the number one EMO quarterback of all time as of right now. The guy looks like he should be singing lead vocals for Fall Out Boy. Kansas City is already waiting for the end of the season. That, or their December 21 date with Miami. Could be there only chance at a win this season. I mean, their starting quarterback is Yancy Thigpen, errr, wait…

Cincinnati (-3.5) over Cleveland

This game is really just an embarrassment for the state of Ohio. If the people of Ohio had a vote, I’m betting they wouldn’t even play this game. On the other hand, it does give one of these teams a shot at a win. If this game ends in a tie, the whole state will be on suicide watch. Derek Anderson, only 3 games into the season, has already proven himself as the next Jim Harbaugh. Let’s not give him that much credit though, Harbaugh did make the AFC title game that year and the Browns didn’t even make the playoffs last year. Nevertheless, you get my point. Anderson is self-imploding, though his O-line has certainly helped him with that. It also doesn’t help that “star” receiver Braylon Edwards has looked a lot like the kid who can only catch toilet paper in Little Giants. Cincy is bad, but at least they showed signs of life last week against New York.

Jacksonville (-7) over Houston

Houston needs a shot of adrenaline. They haven’t been able to do any of the things they did right last year. Couple that with all the devastation Houston has endured in the wake of Ike, the Texans are in a world of turmoil. You can’t ignore the fact that both of their losses have come on the road to playoff teams, so I’m not willing to write them off yet. Still, Mario Williams pass rush will be about as useful as a Corona without a lime. The Jaguars are going to run it down their throat.

Arizona (+1.5) over New York Jets

The Jets are the most overrated thing since EasyMac. They were lucky to escape from the Dolphins, and got lit up at San Diego. They added Brett Favre, but let’s be real this team was 4-12 last year, why did everyone expect them to be so good? Now they have to play against an underrated Cardinals team. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald create a combo that rivals peanut butter and jelly. Good luck to the Jets’ DB’s. I guess it isn’t fair that I’ve been partial to the Cardinals ever since seeing Adrian Wilson’s jump.

New Orleans (-5) over San Francisco

I like this San Francisco team. They’ve got something about them. JT O’ Sullivan has brought the luck of the Irish with him. The 49ers 3-1 though? That doesn’t sound right. Especially when they would have to beat New Orleans to do that. New Orleans is too talented a team. Shockey’s injury hurts, especially with Colston still out, but Brees still has his options. Fantasy owners of Bush are chomping at the bit; they are a Devery Henderson ankle sprain away from controlling all of the Saints offense.

Alright you’re getting bored, you did not want to read this much. Some quick picks.

Carolina (-6.5) over Atlanta

Atlanta has beaten two teams that are worse than they are, and there’s only a couple more of those teams in the league. Carolina is not one.

Tennessee (-3) over Minnesota

Adrian Peterson runs into the brick wall that is the Titans D-line. More specifically, Albert Haynesworth.

Green Bay (+1) over Tampa Bay

Once Griese’s arm falls off the Bucs offense will be slightly one dimensional.

Buffalo (-8) over St. Louis

I am not even sure the Rams could compete in the SEC. They are painful to watch. 0-16 isn’t out of the question.

San Diego (-7.5) over Oakland

Chargers got unlucky two weeks in a row to two quality teams. They are still a very good team. The Raiders are not.

Dallas (-11) over Washington

Remember last year when Washington faced the highest-powered offense in the league? Cough52-7Patriotscough. Sorry Redskins fans.

Philadelphia (-3) over Chicago

Even without Westbrook, the Eagles will prevail. Griese proved all you have to do is throw the ball to beat the Bears, and McNabb is much better at that than he is.

Pittsburgh (-5.5) over Baltimore

Do not be fooled. Flacco and company are not that good. Baltimore’s defense will continue to win games for them this year, but not against the Steelers.